Colin Singleton – Smart, loves anagrams, loves Katherines, bullied when in elementary.
Lindsey Lee Wells – Paramedic (In training)
Hassan Harbish – Colin’s bestfriend.
The Katherines – all the girls he ever liked happen to share the same nine letter.
Katherine V thought boys were gross
Katherine X just wanted to be friends
Katherine XVIII dumped him in an e-mail
K-19 broke his heart
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type happens to be girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact.
On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has ten thousand dollars in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun–but no Katherines. Colin is on a mission to prove The Theorem of Underlying Katherine Predictability, which he hopes will predict the future of any relationship, avenge Dumpees everywhere, and finally win him the girl. Love, friendship, and a dead Austro-Hungarian archduke add up to surprising and heart-changing conclusions in this ingeniously layered comic novel about reinventing oneself.
I was looking for a book which can really explain or describe my own love story and then I came across this book, The difference is that I’m a girl, of course, and would not be into Katherines. However, there is this certain name that I also love and have been into relationships with: Michael. I didn’t had that much Michael in my life, just about not exceeding ten, four of which I got into some really serious somewhat relationship.
While reading this book, I was really amused by how Colin do anagrams. I even tried doing it while on my way to work this one time and I was surprised that I can do it!
Sing Pale Page, K.
Well, not that great, but it is promising :))
And also, I was inspired by this Paramore song, Still into You. I even played it over and over while I pause reading this. And after I’m done with it, I realized that I SHOULD move on, just like what happened to Colin. He finally got over Katherines and had for the first time, Lindsey.
The point of it all, for me, is that there is this one person that will always be the reason why you’ve chosen to take that path, whatever that may be. It’s up tp ourselves to survive and keep moving on in this world.
Colin was curious about this mysterium tremendum et fascinans, which translates to Fear and entrancing fascination.
He was working on this Theorem which will predict how someone would be either a Dumper or a Dumpee: The Rejection Minimization Theorem (RMT)
Lindsey once told Colin that she finds pleasure in other’s pain, aka Shadenfreude.
The only time Colin came anywhere close to ever dumping anyone, it was Marie Caravolli, who everyone agreed was the most attractive individual in American History. But they never get to date as he chose to tutor Katherine I in French in exchange for the said date.
I. Krazy Keith’s daughter. They lasts for about 2 and a half minutes.
II. K2’s bestfriend, Ana, was the trigger to this relationship, told him K2 likes him and asked if he could be K2’s boyfriend. At eight years old, they lasts for eight days having Ana ended it by telling him that K2 doesn’t like him anymore.
III. K3 is a brunette. They met mo his first summer at smart-kid camp. He had a false memory that she dumped him, when in truth, he was the one who dumped her.
IV. Aka katherine the red. She dumped him for a piano prodigy named Robert Vaughan.
V. They’re in fifth grade. She was the nastiest girl in school because of lice outbreak. He also had his first kiss with her. She dumped him stating boys are gross.
VI. After six months of dry spell, he met K6 at his 3rd year at smart kid summer camp and they lasted for a record of seventeen days.
VII. Sixth grade’s Katherine the kind, who is also called pizza face by everyone else due t severe acne problem. She broke up with him after a month due to academic reasons.
VIII. Katherine Barker, anagrammed to Heart Breaker, Inc. She dumped him on a date saying he doesn’t have pubes and she wouldn’t seriously go out on a date with him.
IX. K9 was on sixth grade when he was on seventh, and she was by far the best looking Katherine. She dumped him considering dating much older man.
X. On Another smart kid summer camp, he ran infront of her saying he’d been shot by Cupid’s arrow. She was the very first girl he ever French kissed and it didn’t take long for her to want they’d only be friends.
XI. K11 wasn’t so much a dating thing.
XII. Second sem of ninth grade, K12 came saying she liked him because he read alot of books and knows alot of languages. After 25 days she dumped him with same reasons but the reversed version.
XIII. Katherine the best, with the help of Hassan, on whom he had known when they’re on tenth grade. She dumped him using these exact quotes, he was both too smart and too dumb for her. It lasted for three months.
XIV. He met K14 in a coffee shop and she dumped him in this same place using the metaphor of the water and the rock.
XV. A very empowered feminist with a puppy-dog face with drooping eyelids, he was dumped and was told that he would never be ‘an artist’.
XVI. They met on a roof deck of a hotel in Newark, NJ for an academic Decathlon on an October of his junior year. Thy had a wild and torrid affair but was then dumped as she has a boyfriend back in KS and would.
XVII. They met on the internet and later met personally. She dumped him as she thinks he is more of an emo nerd and she’s looking for a more emo core.
XVIII. They met on a concert during Spring break. She dumped him through email after 2 actual dates and four actual kisses.
XIX. After two weeks of being dumped by K18, K1 showed up and eventually became K19. But after 343 days, he was left with an empty basket. He wanted to remember her as a good person with who he had good times with.
Moral of the story according to Colin:
1. You don’t remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened.
2. Dumpers are not inherently worse than Dumpees. Breaking up isn’t something that gets done to you; it’s something that gets done with you.
Favorite Lines from the Book:
There’s some people in this world who you can just love and love no matter what. – Roy Walker, one of the oldsters.
There’s three ways to look at it. Either:
1. It’s a massive coincidence that all the girls i ever liked happen to share the same nine letters, or
2. I just happen to think that it’s a particularly beautiful name, or
3. I never got over our two and a half minute relationship.
– Colin to Katherine I
You can love someone so much. But you can never love people as much as you can miss them. – Colin
- Katherine I is Katherine XIX?
“In his mind, Katherine I is already becoming Katherine XIX. She would soon retake the throne that, all along had rightfully been hers.”
“…the best way to get people to like you is not to like them too much” – Lindsey to Colin, ch.14
Colin: Wow. My first Lindsey
Lindsey: My second Colin.
“the future is unpredictable”
“You know, we could just keep going. We don’t have to stop”